


Longing

by Menomegirl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-10
Updated: 2009-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-04 08:09:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menomegirl/pseuds/Menomegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set during the opening sequence of The Gift.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Set during the opening sequence of The Gift.

In the quiet minutes that she's alone, there's no sound, nothing to distract her from the grief that surrounds her like a shroud. She thinks of him and it's the small things that she misses and wishes for the most. The way his hand would enfold hers when she needed his strength to bolster hers, and the way he did it instinctively, without thought, giving without asking anything in return. She remembers the many tiny things he did to support her that she hadn't taken notice of until he was gone.

She closes her eyes, tilts her head back and can feel the brush of his lips on her cheek and she remembers the shade of his eyes, the laughter in them, the heat that flared in them when they were together. The woodsy scent of the aftershave he used and the clean salt taste of his sweat on her tongue, the muscles of his thighs flexing between hers as they moved and the way her back arched.

The heated smells of summer fills her senses and she can almost feel the grit of sand under her feet, see his radiant smile in the bright sun that shown down on them, hear the laughter in the voice that teased her, feel the large body under hers as they rolled in the sand.

She recalls the unfocused, glazed look in those wounded eyes, the blank expression on his face in his moment of weakness and she wonders where it all went so wrong. Regrets so much that she might have done and regrets even more the things that she did do and she knows now that what she let slip through her fingers was everything she'd always wanted, both the good and the bad, all wrapped up into one person.

She wonders why she always grasps for the impossible and why she didn't appreciate what she had while it was hers to have, to hold, to reach out touch and more than anything, she wishes she could turn back time for just one moment, to feel the warmth of his body against hers, to recapture that one shining moment before it drifted away.

Then her eyes open to the darkness of the back alley, her fingers drop the weapon of wood that's been the mainstay of her life for so long and she takes a deep breath. Reaches out for the door handle, turns it and goes forward, because if there's one lesson in life she's learned, it's that wishes are only dreams and it's a fool who wastes time on things that will never come true.


End file.
